Caker Brian: What is the name of my blog?
Caker Queen: (lengthy pause) Crater.
CB: Is it true you were addicted to Shreddies?
CQ: Yes, I was addicted. When I get on to something, I eat it all the time. I don’t eat Shreddies anymore, though. I eat Cheerios now, along with some of that grain cereal to make everything solid [Don’t ask what she means. Trust me, you don’t want to know. – Ed] Every morning, I have Cheerios with the grain cereal, blueberries, a banana, an orange juice and a coffee. That’s my breakfast everyday.
CB: Is it true that we were so poor growing up that instead of soda pop, you gave us brown well water with Alka Seltzer?
CQ: Oh, Brian. No. God almighty. No. Jeez. Take that off there.
CB: What would you consider your signature dish?
CQ: (sigh) Like a casserole, maybe. Well, the one that you like. That one with macaroni and ground beef, tomato soup and onion. I don’t know what it’s called. [None of her casseroles have actual names. They all begin with “That one with…”– Ed]
CB: Is there a recipe you’d like to share with fellow cakers?
CQ: Maybe my stew. Cut some stewing beef in small pieces, put it on the bottom of a casserole, add some carrots, potatoes, onion and celery. Pour over a couple cans of V-8. It takes a long time. 250° for four hours. You can throw in anything you want. Serve it with bread or a salad. V-8 has lots of spices, so you don’t need to add anything else.
I made this as per my mom’s instructions. It tasted pretty good but was kind of watery. When I told her this, we had the following exchange:
“I’m sorry. I forgot to tell you to add that thing.”
“Oh, dear. What’s it’s called?”
“No, not that.”
“Not, not flour. Jeez, why can’t I remember it?”
“Plaster of Paris?”
“Tapioca! Sprinkle two or three teaspoons on top.”